Jake and Amir: Road Trip
by JakeandAmir4Ever
Summary: Jake and Amir head to Leron's new house, in Ohio.
1. Chapter 1

**Jake and Amir: Road Trip Part I**

* * *

><p><strong>Intro:<strong>

Amir: Where's my money, bitch?

Jake: Do the intro!

* * *

><p>Amir: Fine, you're watching Jake and Amir.<p>

Jake was driving with Amir. Amir wanted to go to his cousin's new house, in Ohio.

Amir: Hey, thanks for taking me to Leron's new house.

Jake: Well, you said if I didn't you would burn down my apartment building and tell my landlord it was me.

Amir: Still…

* * *

><p>Amir: Let's eat some road trip food.<p>

Jake: First of all, I told you that this is not a road trip it's blackmail, second of all what food did you even bring?

Amir: I bought 49 ten piece boxes of chicken nuggets.

Jake: And how many boxes are left?

Amir: Uh…10.

* * *

><p>Amir was behind the wheel of the car and Jake was in the passenger seat.<p>

Jake: I can't believe I'm letting you drive.

Amir: Don't worry, I have experience.

Jake: Playing Grand Theft Auto does not count as experience.

Amir: Take the wheel for a second because I want to shoot that cop, where's your gun?

* * *

><p>Amir: I'm going to play this tape I made.<p>

Jake: Fine.

Amir put his tape cassette into the car and loud guitars started playing.

Song: AHHHHHHHHHHH MOTHERFUCKER…

Jake: OH MY GOD, TURN THAT DOWN!

Amir: WHAT!

Jake: I SAID TURN IT DOWN!

Amir: THE VOLUME IS ON 1!

* * *

><p>Amir: Hey, stop here.<p>

Jake: Okay, why.

Amir: Wait here.

Amir got out of the car and ran inside the building they were parked in front of. Amir came back six minutes later.

Jake: There you are, what have you…

Jake stopped talking after he saw Amir's other cousin Linford get into the car with him.

Jake: What is he doing here?

Linford: What I'm not allowed to get into a car?

Jake: No, but why are you here?

Amir: Linford is not allowed to drive because he has had 13 DUIs in the past six months so he is not allowed to drive.

Linford: Biggest record in New York Police Department history, high five.

Jake: Not touching your hand.

Linford: Okay.

Amir: So he's coming with us.

Linford: Yeah, but it's total cow turds because I bought the house with Leron and he was too much of a cock hole to take me with him.

Jake: Okay, he can come.

Linford: I wasn't asking for your permission Jake, or should I call you Jerk.

Amir: Hey!...I never thought of that, that is such a cool nickname Ha Ha Ha.

Jake: This is going to be a long trip.

* * *

><p><strong>Yep, two Jake and Amir Fan fictions in one week. Since Jake and Amir update Tuesdays and Thursdays, I thought I would try to. Not making any promises, but hoped you enjoyed this.<strong>


	2. Chapter 2

**Jake and Amir: Road Trip Part II**

* * *

><p><strong>Intro:<strong>

**Amir: Hi, I would like some fries, and what do want?**

**Jake: This isn't a drive through.**

* * *

><p>Amir and Linford: IT'S SO HARD TO SAY GOODBYE TO YESTERDAY!<p>

Jake: Stop singing to other cars?

Amir and Linford: NO!

* * *

><p>Jake: Are we almost there?<p>

Amir: How would I know?

Jake: You're his cousin.

Amir: Yeah, but he's adopted.

Jake: Are you adopted?

Linford: No I'm a full blooded cousin, removed thrice.

Jake: Thrice?

Linford: I have been divorced three times.

Jake: Wow.

Linford: That's nothing; Amir's been divorced 8 times.

Jake: You've been married 8 times.

Amir: Yeah, but don't worry our marriage will last forever.

Jake: What?

Amir: Nothing.

* * *

><p>Linford: You said there would be chicken nuggets, where are they?<p>

Amir: Jake ate them all.

Jake: No I didn't.

Amir: Well you paid for them.

Jake: I didn't even do that.

Amir: Oh really, does this credit card look familiar to you?

Jake: No.

Amir: Oh, right this is Pat's, this one's yours.

Jake: Give me that, and stop stealing people's credit cards.

Linford: Okay, I don't mean to fly off the handle, but give me the CHICKEN NUGGETS!

* * *

><p>Jake pulled into a driveway.<p>

Jake: Okay, is this it?

Amir: No.

Jake: What, where is it?

Linford: Back in New York.

Jake: Then why did I just drive to Ohio?

Amir and Linford: Because you've been Road Trip'd!

Jake: What?

Amir: It's a game show I've been pitching to CBS for years, but it keeps being rejected.

Linford: So we decided to come to the CEO's house, and beat the shit out of him.

Amir: Let's go.

Jake: No don't.

Amir and Linford leapt out of the car with baseball bats, knocked on the door, and then beat the shit out of some random person who is not the CEO of CBS. Jake drove away as fast as he could.

Jake; I am not going to be an accomplice to this.

Leron: Too late.

Leron came out from under the back seat.

Jake: What are you doing!

Leron: TREE!

Jake: AHHH!

**Hope you enjoyed this.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Jake and Amir: Road Trip Part III**

* * *

><p><strong>Intro:<strong>

**Amir: Hi you're watching Jake and…line!**

**Jake: Just say your name.**

**Amir: Jake and Just say your name.**

**Jake: Nope.**

* * *

><p>Jake and Amir were sitting in an interrogation room at a police station. Jake had a broken arm.<p>

Amir: Hey, remember-

Jake: Don't, okay just be quiet.

Amir: Wow, you're really going to be a dick about this?

Jake: You blackmailed me, you lied to me, you made me drive you and your cousins to Ohio smuggling Leron under my backseat, you beat up a 47 year old maid you thought was the CEO of CBS, and Leron made me crash into a tree where it fell destroying my car and nearly killing me.

Amir: How many times do I have to apologize for that?

Jake: Once would be nice.

Detective: Oh my god, shut up.

The Detective was there interrogating them, but they wouldn't stop arguing long enough for him to ask any questions.

Detective: Now you said that there were two other people with you?

Jake: Yes, Amir's cousins Linford and Leron.

Detective: Where are they?

Jake: Well after I crashed my car, Leron ran away screaming spring break, so I don't know.

Detective: and the other cousin?

Amir: That prick ran away after robbing that house and shooting up that house.

Detective: Mr. Hurwitz, you claim that Mr. Blumenfeld blackmailed you, care to elaborate?

Amir: That's not true, it was a joke.

Jake: He threatened to burn down my apartment and blame me.

Amir: As a goof!

Detective: Well Mr. Blumenfeld you're looking at about 8-9 years in prison for assault and blackmail.

Amir: Okay can you give me directions?

Detective: No, you're going to jail.

Amir: Well, I can't go there if I don't know where it is.

Detective: How is he not getting this?

Jake: I'll help you out; hey Amir my favorite move is Shaw Shank Redemption right?

Amir: I'm going to get butt-raped!

Jake: Maybe some time away will help you think about what you've done.

Detective: You're going away to Mr. Hurwitz.

Jake: What?

Detective: You're an accomplice; you won't go away as long as Mr. Blumenfeld, but you will still serve hard time. You are both being transferred to the Ohio State Penitentiary tomorrow.

The Detective left the interrogation room.

Amir: This is going to be awesome; we can finally live out our prison fantasy together.

Jake: I don't have a prison fantasy.

Amir: Yeah, and I don't rip Raccoons heads off.

Jake: …Kill me.


	4. Chapter 4

**Jake and Amir: Road Trip Part IIII**

* * *

><p><strong>Intro:<strong>

**Amir: Spiderman, Spiderman-**

**Jake: You can't climb the wall.**

**Amir: Yeah, well at least I'm trying!**

* * *

><p>Jake and Amir were both sitting in a jail cell wearing orange prison jump suits.<p>

Amir: Well, we might as well make the best of this.

Jake: We're in prison, do you not realize that we're serving several years in here and it's your fault?

Amir: …Want to go lift weights?

Jake: Are you listening to me?

Amir: Pffft…obviously.

Jake: What have I been talking about?

Amir: …Worms.

Jake: You have to stop guessing that, and aren't you upset about what just happened?

Amir: What do you mean?

Jake: You had a visitor, it was you dad, he only showed up to yell at you and rub the fact that you're in prison in your face. He then pressed his butt cheeks against the glass window between you two and asked you to kiss his ass.

Amir: Oh right, that. Yeah, I'd probably be more upset about it if it was the first time that happened.

Jake: He's done that before?

Amir: Yeah he did it on my first day of kindergarten, my first day of middle school, high school, and graduation.

Jake: God that's horrible.

Amir: You should hear what my mother used to say to me.

Jake: Okay, what are we going to do?

Amir: I've got a plan.

Jake: No.

Amir: You haven't even heard my plan on how to escape.

Jake: I know I haven't, I don't want to.

Amir: Would you rather stay here for 6 more years.

Jake: …What's your plan?

Amir: Okay, I actually have many plans, number one-

Jake: Before you continue, no ideas based of Shaw Shank Redemption.

Amir: Fine, number twelve then.


	5. Chapter 5

**Jake and Amir: Road Trip Part V**

* * *

><p><strong>Intro:<strong>

**Amir: Hi, you're watching Prison Break.**

**Jake: Jake and Amir.**

**Amir: WRONG!**

**Jake: Wow.**

* * *

><p>Jake and Amir were walking along the wall of the Prison. They had devised a plan to escape last night.<p>

Jake: Okay, just stick to the plan.

Amir: Right, what was the plan again?

Jake: I told you the plan seven times already.

Amir: Yeah well I forgot, I'm sorry.

Jake: You should be, just create a distraction and while the guards are distracted we escape over the fence.

Amir: Okay I got it.

Jake: What are you going to do?

Amir: Watch this. (walks away).

Jake: No don't just leave!

Amir walks over to a couple of people, pulled out a knife, and stabbed all 5 of them. Guards came up to him and tried to pull him away and Amir stabbed them too. Guards were finally able to detain him and put him in solitary confinement.

* * *

><p>Five weeks later<p>

Amir walked over to Jake in the cell after lights out.

Jake: Wow, they finally let you out.

Amir: Jake, I've done hard time, I don't think I can live on the outside anymore.

Jake: Well you're still on the inside, just less on the inside I guess.

Amir: How have you been?

Jake: Pretty good actually, I got to know those people you stabbed they're actually good guys, you know this is a minor detention facility.

Amir: Well, thanks for following the plan.

Jake: What are you talking about?

Amir: The plan was I create that distraction, you escape over the fence, and I sacrifice the rest of my life for you.

Jake: Well next time maybe tell me the plan so I can actually follow it.

Amir: Well now I have a new plan.

Jake: Actually you know what; I think staying here, doing good things, I could get out in the next 2 to 3 years. I could get a telemarketing job-

Amir: It's too late.

Jake: Why?

Amir pulled out keys.

Jake: …No.

Amir: Yes.

Jake: No.

Amir: Yes, we're leaving tonight.

Jake and Amir were both driving through the forest outside of the prison. They stole the car after escaping.

Jake: I cannot believe we just did that.

Amir: Me neither.

Jake: …Hey, would you really sacrifice your life to save me.

Amir: Totally man, were gullies.

Jake: Well, thanks.

Amir: I mean you would do the same thing for me.

Jake: Um…let's keep driving out of state.

Amir: Yeah, but you would sacrifice your life for me, right?

Jake: You know what dude let's play the quiet game.

Amir: Yeah, but after you answer my question, RIGHT!


End file.
